Sunday, January 07, 2007

Laurie Meade's Ken Watch: Part 2

As seen on Saturday night's Diary Room Uncut episode: Ken cavorting about the house with two of the most attractive housemates... and Carole Malone. Later, he was shown in the Diary Room with the same trio sitting beside and upon him. He had his arms around Danielle and Cleo.

Incidentally, Kenny Everett's former sidekick Cleo Rocos has quickly become, along with Dirk Benedict and Ken, the main reason to watch this year's Celebrity Big Brother.

Here are some exerpts from the ensuing Diary Room conversation:

Ken: "I got to keep my bitches happy...and I need a new nappy"
Cleo: "Uncle Ken is barking for a large one"
Ken: "I am barking..."
All: "Woof Woof WOOF!"
Cleo: "Ken's got an ASBO"
Danielle: "Uncle Ken's gonna put on a G-string"
Ken: "A G-string, and an A, B, C string as well"

Clearly, daily episode viewers have been missing valuable material to censorship, as later Cleo and Danielle are shown in the diary room sitting in each other's laps and complaining about Uncle Ken's snoring, joking about touching his bum and giggling.

Ken seems to be beginning to enjoy the current House Task, where eight of the Housemates have been assigned as servants to He and three others (Jade Goody, her Mother and her boyfriend Jack). Ken has been issuing his new servants with a range of tasks, including having Leo Sayer (who tried, and failed rather miserably, to maintain a vow of silence) unbutton his waistcoat. The most recent scenes include Ken assigning a nightshift of the servants to hold his nostrils open through the night.

Jade Goody thinks Ken is "lovely" as he reminds her of her Grandfather, and she worries in theose brief, fleeting moments that he has stopped snoring that he may have passed away.

Regarding the subject of Ken's loud sleeping habits, I note that despite the ongoing complaints and discussions the Producers have done nothing, and neither has Ken. Perhaps this is his secret weapon... Ladies and Gentlemen, lay your bets now...

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