Laurie Meade's Ken Watch: Part 3

Ken Russell decided he'd had enough of Celebrity Big Brother, or at least enough of Jade Goodie's Mum, at some point last night when, ironically enough, she had disturbed too much of his sleep.

Yesterday, Jackiey, who had been calling Shilpa Shetty 'Princess' since entering the house, was outraged when it was politely pointed out to her that it might be a bit patronising; drama and tears followed... and they continued, into the 'Upstairs' bedroom late at night and well past Ken's bedtime. Ken objected firmly so the Goodie clan, en-masse, fought back. Jackiey farted, a great deal.

The false class struggle that producers have tried to beat up in the house over the last five days was realised in a way they perhaps had not foreseen - distinguished, genteel Ken against loud, overbearing Jackie. The lines had now been drawn.

It's a shame. Ken had been warming to his role as Raunchy old Lord of the Manor- principally with his three favourite females, Carol, Cleo and Danielle.

The morning saw a pretend argument with Carole regards his 'touchy-feely' hands-on habits with the staff. Cleo and Ken flirted furiously, Cleo genuinely warming to playing the saucy servant. "You might get lucky one of these nights," deadpanned Ken. Why didn't the producer's put these two in isolation? Sadly it's too late now.

At some point in an ongoing argument with Jade, Ken even gave her quite a nice Catherine Tate "Am I Bovvered?"

Over the course of the day, the veteran filmmaker attempted conciliatory talks with the single mother. Under different conditions they might have gotten along quite well, but with Jade and her (otherwise largely mute) boyfriend Jack on hand and ready to spring to Mum's defence, Ken decided to pre-empt confrontation and admit defeat. He slipped quietly away to the diary room...

"There was a great deal to enjoy in the house and I'm sincere about that. I knew there'd be a few surprises but not of the kind I experienced. I am a big old fuddy duddy and some of the surprises were a little too much to take for someone of my sensibility."

And shortly after that, Ken Russell left the Big Brother house.

Could we hope against hope that Peter Greenaway or Nicholas Roeg are called in to fill the void Ken has left? Probably not to any avail.