Saturday, May 26, 2007

Movie Minesweeper - The Pirates 3 Was Boring Edition

Who am I kidding - of course Pirates 3 was boring. Pirates 2 - or for that matter 1 - hardly rocked the bells and this one had all of those loose ends to force into knots, and desperately too. Maybe a completely ridiculous collection of unresolved plotlines would have been better than a completely ridiculous collection of pseudo-resolutions and two hours worth of coma-threatening exposition.

Anyway. Enough about that blight on the CV of Johnny Depp. Here are some links for you...

- A trailer for the next animated Star Wars series is now on YouTube. It's pretty ugly, unfortunately.

- Trent Haaga has written the script for Poor Things, and that fact alone has me hooked. Ash Baron Cohen ('faintly' related to Sasha, I'm told) is directing and that's intriguing too. And look at the cast: Rosario Dawson, Shirley Maclaine, Olympia Dukakis... all well and good, in their own way. Oh. And Lindsay Lohan - which dulls the blade somewhat, but hey, fingers crossed... hers might be a small role. Or she might drop out. Again.

- David Lynch has taken some portraits of some actresses, for French Elle, and half of each portrait (you'll see what I mean if you click over) has been scanned and posted to a forum. Some of them are quite striking. Some of them are not so much.

- A judge has announced that he'll throw Carol Burnett's case against Family Guy out of court.

- Oh... and more Family Guy news, in case you've been living under a rock or on Mars. George Lucas has given the official thumbs up to a Family Guy reenactment of Star Wars. That's the film Star Wars, not the whole Star Wars series ('saga'). And yes, it is called Star Wars - this New Hope nonsense is just a tacked on invention and I find it quite embarrassing. But not as embarrassing as the claims Lucas had all six films plotted out in his head from day one. He didn't have any idea where he was going, and I wish he'd just admit it. He's his Dad? And she's his sister? Well, okay - but there's no way that was in mind while Star Wars was in production.

- Harry Potter 5 will be 138 minutes long.

- On-set camcorder footage of Public Enemy No.1 or, possibly, Death Instinct being filmed is now online. The two films each star Vincent Cassel as Jacques Mesrine, and each tells half of his story.

- The first Fanboys poster is online now, even though the film has been pushed back until 2008. Neither that news or the poster inspires confidence, I'm afraid. And I wish I had more to report that wasn't to do with Star Wars.

- There's another clip from Ocean's 13 online and I love this one too. If you don't like it at all, I fear you'll be a hard sell on the film overall.


Anonymous said...

Please tell me you didn't really fall for the Star Wars trailer too.

Brendon said...

Well, it was poor enough to be something Lucas' team had cooked up. They don't exactly have a great track record.

So, yes, I assumed it was real. What I knew for sure was that it was quite bad indeed.

Gullible me.

Anonymous said...

Fair enough, after Gary Kurtz's IGN interview where he basically says Lucas felt "passable" is the goal, Empire had too much story, and then Lucas' criticism of Spiderman 3 being "nothing much" when boiled down then well... yeah, I can see where you're coming from.

Mark H Wilkinson said...

And yes, it is called Star Wars - this New Hope nonsense is just a tacked on invention and I find it quite embarrassing.

It was tacked on in '81. While I appreciate the spirit of your denial -- I always refer to that film as Star Wars myself -- that's rather a long time to be embarrassed.

Brendon said...

It hasn't been constant embarrassment. In fact, only wheneve rit has been thrust at me which, thankfully, hasn't been too often.