Saturday, July 01, 2006

Imagine Superman Getting It On

In celebration of Singer's exciting Superman Returns and its swoonsomely romantic plot (spoiler AAA-lert: the kid is Superman's, as if you didn't know by now) I thought I'd remind you of Larry Niven's classic article, Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex - all about Superman's sexuality and, ahem, 'bedroom problems'.

Niven asks "What turns on a Kryptonian?", "Why can't he get a girl?" and, seeing that "Electroencephalograms taken of men and women during sexual intercourse show that orgasm resembles a kind of pleasurable epileptic attack" and "Superman has been known to leave his fingerprints in steel and in hardened concrete, accidentally", then, "what would he do to the woman in his arms during what amounts to an epileptic fit?"

Interesting, amusing, and perhaps ridiculously indulgent, the full article is, however, a wonderful read.

1 comment:

Mark said...

As far as I can tell, we're supposed to overlook most of Niven's arguments and presume Clark knocked Lois up when he was depowered for a bit during SUPERMAN 2.

In current DC Comics continuity, Superman has been depowered for a year after flying through a red sun fighting a crazed parallel world version of himself. This could, of course, lead to the comic book version replicating this storyline.

Plus, of course, Richard Donner is rumoured to be co-writing (with his onetime assistant-turned successful comicbook writer, Geoff Johns) one of the ongoing Superman titles for a story arc or two, later this year. Bryan Singer is supposed to be writing ULTIMATE X-MEN at some point, but that has been delayed indefinitely so many times that I severely doubt it'll ever happen, especially since he walked away from the movie franchise.