Movie Minesweeper - The Movie Minesweepers Take So Long You Wouldn't Believe It Edition

- Daniel Robert Epstein has passed away. I was only recently introduced to his work (though I'd read much of it before, not linking the pieces to any given individual) and now... Very sad news.

- Brian Lynch has spilled lots of beans regarding his script for The Next Muppet Movie. Shame we'll never get to see it.

- An African-Americanised remake of The Big Chill is on the way. Will some entrepenurial sneak beat them to it with an African-Americanised remake of Return of the Secaucus Seven?

- World Trade Centre screenwriter Andrea Berloff is to write a film about the Fugees football team, a youth soccer squad made up of refugees. As part of the deal, half a million dollars were coughed up to build a football pitch for the team.

- Paris Hilton has been ditched by her acting agency. What toom them so long?

- The One is a Chinese propoganda film centred on the olympics. They've got a real battle on their hands if they want it to be the best propoganda film centred on the olympics - the competition happens to be one of the most beautiful films ever made.

- Isabelle Mergault's You Are So Handsome is headed for a US remake.

- As rumoured, Tom Vaughan has taken over the director's chair for What Happens in Vegas. Don't worry: the film was always very likely to be a clunker.

- Martin Campbell seems set to direct a US remake of 36 Quai Des Orfevres; Richard Price is to write the new script. Will this see another De Niro/Pacino coupling? Not according to The Hollywood Reporter - the detectives in this new version are to be in their 30s. Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg?

- Greg Kinnear and Maura Tierney are the latest additions to the Baby Mama cast. Two for two: result.

- Jennifer Aniston is to produce a women-in-prison film for Dreamworks and she may well star. The thing is, this is more Chicago than The Big Bird Cage - Goree Girls is to be a musical, not to mention a period film, being set in the 40s. Does Aniston have any singing and dancing skills?

- Christina Applegate has taken the female lead in The Rocker, opposite Rainn Wilson.

- The NBA presented a 3D broadcast of a recent Cavaliers game in my old stomping ground of Cleveland. The future, I tell you. I don't understand sport - at all - but I know that 3D is coming and won't be leaving.

- Jesse Bradford is to star in The Echo, which is a remake of Sigaw. I like Jesse, but I wish he got better roles.

- The new Thunderbolt Ross is William Hurt. His is the one Hulk role that always seems to draw some real talent.

- Meanwhile, the new Harry Potter is an archaeologist. Maybe.

- Hmmm. Frankenhood is about resurrecting a corpse to win a street hockey tournament. It wrapped this weekend, Charlie Murphy is in it and Lionsgate are going to release it. Guaranteed. Cult. Film.

- Tobin Bell has given his first Saw IV interview. Snooooooze. Somebody give him a very different role, please. And quickly.

- Star Trek fans are being invited to submit fan fiction to some kind of official contest. The understanding online seems to be that the winning text could be rendered canon. The theme? Kirk vs. Picard. Make an entry all about Connect 4, Downfall, Kerplunk and Twister and I'll love you forever.

- Or you might want to make a video for Hall and Oates.

- Seems like The Long Kiss Goodnight 2 will be lacking any kind of Shane Black involvement. That's sacrilege in some circles.

- The LA Times have Mark Protosevich writing Thor, and Matthew Vaughan directing.

- What's more, the same article is all about J. Michael Straczynski writing a solo Silver Surfer film. I saw the Fantastic Four, by the way, and will review it later - but the news isn't good. As expected.

- You'll need a password for The LA Times but you can get one at BugMeNot.

- Some people understood the ending of The Sopranos, some people did not. Really, it isn't so complex - it was virtually spelled out for folk. There's not much room for useful debate.

- Paramount Vantage are to produce Oliver Stone's Pinkville, a story of the My Lai massacre featuring Sean Penn and Channing Tatum.

- The same article declares that Killing Pablo has gone into turnaround.

- There's a very convincingly explicit clip from Captivity online. Don't watch in polite company.

And now, my dog needs a walk. And no, that's not a euphemism.

The Shoedog And The Dead President

Another actor who became a more than competent director is Bill Paxton. Frailty was a solid cult hit (and if you haven't seen it yet, add it to your Netflix queue now) but The Greatest Game Ever Played hardly set the world on fire, despite being utterly respectable in every way. Thankfully, this lack of big box office doesn't appear to have derailed his career - he's working on a couple of new movies.

Shoedog is a crime thriller adapted by George Pelecanos from his own novel, and that's likely to be next; some time later, Paxton wants to make his own film about the asassination of JFK. It simply couldn't turn out any worse that Oliver Stone's overblown pantomime, and I'd expect, in fact, he could do a very nice job with this indeed.

Movie Minesweeper - Sunday Lunch Edition

- Spider-Man 3 is making lots and lots of money. And it is very good, so I'm glad but it is also... well, quite bad. Some all-time classic scenes (such as when Peter and Harry go back to Harry's house after he leaves the hospital - brilliant stuff; and the first time the Sandman tries to form out of grains) but a generally dodgy structure and some rough-and-ready looking scenes leads to a largely embarrassing final act.

- The IESB have some video of the Iron Man suit. Frankly, after the official image was unveiled the other day, the required standard of paparazzi snaps went way up - and this doesn't meet those new, higher requirments.

- Oliver Stone's TV spot that calls for the troops in Iraq to be withdrawn is now online. It probably isn't what you're expecting, and is all the better for it.

- Four Minutes beat bookies' favourite Perfume to the homegrown movie gong at the German Film Awards.

Oliver Stoned, Nick Parked

Oliver Stone was due to award the Best Comedy Film Award at the ITV1 Comedy Awards last night... but he ran late - very late - and the award didn't get handed out on the main show at all. Instead, it was only shown on the later ITV2 show - US viewers, be aware that ITV1 is a much watched channel, ITV2 most certainly is not.

But that's certainly not the best of it. Taking the stage, Stone made a very bad taste topical reference to a series of currently unsolved prostitute murders that appear to be the work of a serial killer, saying something like "I see it's Jack the Ripper time here again".

Possibly to avenge this, or possibly because he was starstruck and genuinely mistaken, Nick Park took the stage to receive his award and told Stone "Full Metal Jacket is one of my favourite films!" - to which Stone replied, clearly not pleased, "I did Apocalypse Now".