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Movie Minesweeper - The Sparkling Florida Orange Edition

- Anchor Bay are to release Zak Penn's The Grand across the continent of North America. But why are they still being called Anchor Bay? I thought that was on the way out.

- Another Poker film is about to go into production. Johnathon Schaech is starring and has co-written the screenplay, from Ed Gorman's novel, The Poker Club.

- Gus Van Sant is to direct the first film adaptation of Tom Wolfe's The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. It won't be the last - those times and places are becoming more and more romanticised by the week, and after this version fails to set the world on fire, the slow turning gears will get in motion again, I'm sure.

- Paramount are to distribute Strange Wilderness. Despite the presence of film ick favourite Steve Zahn - plus Jordan Hill, Justin Long and Jeff Garlin - I'm having difficulty getting up any interest for this one.

- Didn't we already know that Escape From Planet Earth was going to be in 3D? Maybe not - but ever since I first mentioned the film last summer, I've been convinced of its turkey status. 3D isn't going to change that.

- Harald Zwart has signed on to direct the next Pink Panther film. Of Shaun Levy, the last Panther's director, and Zwart - I'd take Levy any day of the week.

- Elizabeth Banks is to play the wicked stepmother part in the US remake of A Tale of Two Sisters. Good casting.

- After a very long engagement, McG is finally wed to his next project: Me and My Monster. I like McG a lot - even though I'm only judging him on two films. I'm keen to see We Are Marshall to see him operating in a whole new style, but I'm quite impressed by both of the Charlie's Angels films. Yes. Both. The story is about an adult who had a childhood imaginary monster friend that has hung around - Drop Dead Fred style? I'm hoping the monster will be more Sweetums than Eragon, more Sulley than Pennywise, more Lirpa Loof than Nobby the House Elf.

- Thundercats is to be a CG film on the TMNT model, rather than live action, as per Transformers.

- Natalie Portman turned down a role in the stage adaptation of All About My Mother. The Penelope Cruz role, I'd imagine.

- Tilly Guest has created her very own series of Derren Brown comic strips. I saw Brown's new live show this last Friday and it was even better than his previous tours. The man is the greatest live entertainer in the world. To tell you any details of the show would be to spoil it, but let me say I only know exactly how he pulled off about five percent of the reveals, twists and tricks; have some idea of about how sixty percent were done; could clutch at straws for another ten percent; and the remaining twenty five percent have me so foxed that I wouldn't even dare guess.

- John Dahl has described the Punisher 2 script as 'not that good'. He's also pointed out how restricted the schedule is - so, poor Lexi Alexender, his replacement, she's on a hiding to nothing.

- Disney are teaming with Yash Raj Films to make animated films with Indian stars, stories and style.

- Philip K. Dick has been admitted into The Man's canon. Does this trash his counter cultural credibilty at all?

Zahn, Arkin, Blunt And Adams

Steve Zahn is to join the cast of Sunshine Cleaning, alongside Alan Arkin, Emily Blunt and Amy Adams. Amy Adams hasn't been on a cast this impressive since Psycho Beach Party.

Hey - does anybody have a copy of Psycho Beach Party? Can I have it?

Sunshine Cleaning sounds a bit like Curdled... and... er... well, does anybody have a copy of Curdled I can have too? I really do have to get into the habit of buying smaller DVD releases sooner, they've got a horrible habit of going out of print very quickly indeed.

Anchor Bay's DVD of Schlock has nothing at all to do with the rest of this story. Besides the obvious. Cheers.

Magnum PI

[EDIT: I've been faked out. It is becoming more and more clear that this is a fake story. At which point it became fake, I'm not sure. Let me explain. I was sent an e-mail referring to the teletext report. Telextext being daily, when I couldn't find it, I assumed I had missed it. I don't know if it ever was on the teletext service. If it was, I don't know their source - so just where and when this was made up, I have no idea. Seems that the hobby of feeding false stories to websites - Aint It Cool is the most frequently hit, I think - has spread to me]

The Teletext service here in the UK is claiming that a Magnum movie is finally ready to roll. I'll swing with it, even though they often rip off my stories with no credit to me.

Here's how the call sheet looks:

Matthew McConaughey as Magnum; Steve Zahn as Rick; Tyrese Gibson as TC; William H. Macy as Higgins; Rawson Marshall Thurber directing.

They had me at Steve Zahn.

This time round, Magnum and chums are vets of the Iraq conflict, not the Vietnam war. The more things change, the more they stay the same, eh?