Movie Minesweeper - The What Would You All Say If I Just Disappeared In A Puff Of Smoke Edition

Here we go again.

- Bond is headed back to Blighty.

- Anne Hathaway is to star in Jonathan Demme's Dancing With Sheba as a coke-loving young model, in and out of rehab like a sherbert-dipping yo-yo. In a perfect world this would be scripted by Daniel Waters.

- Some kind of cinematic necromancy has brought Justin Kerrigan's film career back from the infinite void of ill wind. Next up for the Human Traffic perpetrator will be I Know You Know with Robert Carlysle.

- The Japanese release of Evan Almighty has been pulled without explanation. Do we need an explanation? Can't we just make reckless assumptions and tut accordingly?

- Roy Rowan's memoir Chasing the Dragon told of the rise of Mao Zedong. Now, Robert De Niro is one of the producers aiming to transform it into a feature film. Expect 'an epic-sized drama with a love story'. Not an epic drama, note, just an 'epic-sized' one. I wonder what that will mean.

- Warner Bros. have revealed their official synopsis of Watchmen. Doesn't really do the book justice, of course.

- A big orange guy made of rocks and a silver nudist on a surf board do look pretty ridiculous, and maybe I'd have changed at least one of those into a cloud too. Or a talking cup of tea.

- Season Six of Curb your Enthusiasm will start airing in the US on September 9th.

- Danny Wallace seems very happy with the Yes Man script, director and star.

- It sounds like John Carpenter has a new movie on the boil. That's all I need to know to be happy. This one is called LA Gothic and revolves around a priest and his daughter in a Californoa crawling with zombies, vampires and other such fun things.

- Is the next Indiana Jones film just the fourth in a series of (at least) six? I do hope not.

- Yet another fine art forger film is being talked up, likely to never see the light of day. Not for the first time, this one is allegedly to be derived from the misadventures of John Myatt and John Drewe. George Clooney and Clive Owen to star? Don't bank on it.

- Aaron Eckhart has admitted that he'll go into Two Face mode in The Dark Knight. I told you that already - and I didn't just leave it at that either.

Can't...continue...any...longer.... energy draining...

More tomorrow. And normal service should be resumed very soon.

Direct Download Links For Polished Up Michael Clayton Trailer

You can now choose from 480p, 720p and 1080p versions of the Michael Clayton trailer.

Direct Download Link For Michael Clayton Trailer

You can now download the UK trailer to Tony Gilroy's Michael Clayton with George Clooney from the Pathe website. It is the FLV format but, once again, you should have an FLV player by now... right?

A Proper Look At Ocean's 13... On Paper

There's so many scripts I mean to review fully but never get the time to... The Only Living Boy in New York, Brick, Valkyrie...

Thankfully, Simon Reynolds has been doing a great, great job with script reviews for film ick. He's really cut out for the job and, honestly, if you haven't been reading his pieces, you've been missing out.

But I've been wanting to review Brian Koppelman and David Levien's Ocean's 13 script myself for some time, and for the last couple of months at least I've never been more than one last push away from actually sitting down and typing this review.

Part of the problem was political, really. I was first shown a copy of the script by somebody who really didn't want me to excerpt it, or even review it. So I didn't. Then I saw another copy of the same draft and the owner of that one wasn't at all worried about me writing it up. That was the green flag I needed.

But then I couldn't get ahold of that second copy again and... well, you don't care about this. This is just a string of excuses, for all you care. Let's cut to the chase.

So - Ocean's 13, premiering tonight at Cannes. Will it be any good?

If this script is anything to go by then yes, it certainly will.

There's that old maxim about films being written three times - on paper, in the shoot and in the editing room. Looking at the trailers, preview scenes and featurettes that have popped up online, the differences between the paper draft and the filmed version of Ocean's 13 are quite numerous.

Not really in terms of plot points, mind - the story seems to be, by and large, the same one. But the dialogue has changed a fair bit. New bits of business have been invented left right and centre. Shine has been put on the apple.

What began as a light, quick, fun read has evolved into a light, quick, fun, sparkling film. Or so it would seem.

So, what is the story? (Obviously, a great many spoilers are to follow)

In a nutshell, Ruben Tiskhoff (Elliot Gould) has been hospitalised by the wily Willy Banks (played by Al Pacino). Banks didn't strike him, or have his heavies strike him - he just stressed Ruben out to the point of collapse. He managed this by crookedly cutting Ruben out of a partnership to build a new Vegas casino - thereby betraying the code of honour amongst those who have 'shaken Sinatra's hand' - and has left Ruben facing bankruptcy and, more to the point, in a coma.

So, as you can tell from the ads, we have Danny and the gang cooking up a revenge scheme. They recruit their some time nemesis Terry Benedict - the 13th gangster of the title, in case you didn't yet know - and set about hitting Banks where it hurts. The plan is a fun one: on the opening night of this new casino, they're going to rig the odds, just for a few minutes, so that everything goes the way of the gamblers, so that the house loses - and loses big.

This is the quintessential payback to all those Vegas villains: sure, the house always wins - but not this time. For just a few moments, it's going to haemorhage cash. Good stuff.

Of course, there's a lot of different gambling games to be found in any one casino, and the gang are going to have to work hard in order to tip the odds on all of them - but thankfully, this is a film, and the kind of film where unexplained, possibly unexplainable, little gadgets exist. And it is also the kind of film where a group of movie star con artists can pull off even the most ludicrous disguises. And it is definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, a film where the good guys win.

My favourite plot conceit is that of the Very Unimportant Person. He's never given a name, and we don't learn too much about him, but he's key to the whole trick coming off. The VUP is played by David Paymer. From the moment he arrives on page 33, he becomes a pawn in the plot. It all begins as he's checking into The Bank, Willy's superhotel. A little bit of maneuvering from a line-jumping Saul and the undercover Rusty, who takes the place of the concierge, and the wheels are set in motion...

As for this VUP, he never finds out what role he is playing, or even that anything so exciting is going on around him. But - this being that kind of film, as I was saying - he is handsomely rewarded in the pay off.

The VUP business is a great deal of fun on the page, and even though it's been kept almost entirely out of the marketing materials, I'd expect it to be something people really like about the film, something they'll talk about leaving the cinema, or at their work watercooler the next day. I expect this VUP will garner a lot of positive word of mouth for this film.

Another key part of the plan revolves around Basher (Don Cheadle). He's in charge of creating a fake act of god that will create a huge distraction. It's like a magician's sleight of hand, but instead of him just gesturing wildly over here while he pulls a rubber dove out of his sleeve over here, this trickster runs the risk of creating a huge nuclear explosion over here while a whole lot of important tidying up is going on over here. Basher's interventions are crucial to the scam coming off smoothly, sure, but not, as you might have assumed, to making the scams work in the first place.

There are so many little shiny moments in this script that I'm convined we have a real crowd pleaser here (and tonight at Cannes, I guess we'll know for sure). I do wonder how much the scripted fun and games were filmed however. For example, the script contains a comeback-cameo for Rusty's poker students from 11 - you know: Topher Grace, Holly Marie Combs, those other less instantly memorable folk. It's one thing writing the scene, another getting them all in. But I expect they came along gladly. Would you turn it down?

And does Tess (Julia Roberts) appear? At all? Well, that would be telling, wouldn't it. But... well, perhaps this was the only unsatisfying element of the whole script for me. I won't reveal what, exactly - besides, there's every chance the finished film hasn't turned out this way. But from the pages at least, there was something I really wanted, and I didn't get it.

I liked Ocean's 12 - I know that's not a popular opinion, but I did. It was smart, and well made and it loved movies as much as we do. Ocean's 13, however, I think I'll love. The Terry Benedict team up is very well handled (obviously, a rat is always going to be a rat, but Danny is smart enough to know this); everybody gets some good stuff to do, some great nonsense to have fun with, and that's just on paper, before they started improvising; there are plenty of call-backs to the previous films, particularly 11; and Danny and Rusty are still clearly, hopelessly head over heels in their platonic man-love with one another.

When Stephen Soderbergh promised that this was the Ocean's 11 sequel everybody wanted last time around, it looks like he was completely correct. Don't be cautious about this one - you can bet safely knowing that, in fact, while the odds are typically stacked against you with star-studded multiplex fare, just for the running time of this film, the outcome is rigged and you're guaranteed to walk away a winner.

Direct Download Link For Best Edit Of The Ocean's 13 Trailer Yet

Did I mention that I'll be posying my up-close-and-personal look at the Ocean's 13 script any hour now?

In the meantime, download and enjoy the best trailer the film has yet received.

I'm Unpersuaded - Send In The Clooney And The Grant

According to TV, radio and tabloid reports here in the UK (but nothing I can link to as yet, I'm afraid) George Clooney and Hugh Grant are to star in a feature film adaptation of The Persuaders. Apparently, Ben Stiller is the film's producer so don't expect it to be played straight.

I was wondering if Charlie's Angels (which I liked, a lot) started this trend of reinventing old TV as slightly kitschy, jokey films when I remembered The Brady Bunch Movie. If I remember correctly, I rather liked that too... so, maybe the question should be when it all went wrong. Your suggestions, please.

Perhaps a big screen Happy Days will come along so that the genre can literally jump the shark.

Direct Download Link For New Ocean's 13 Featurette

Apple are hosting a new Ocean's 13 featurette. Download it, burn it to DVD and... er... show it to your students. That's my plan, anyway.

[EDIT: That link works for me, but not for ArchCarrier, it seems. So try another too]

Script Review For Burn After Reading

If I didn't already know that the script for Burn After Reading was written by the Coen brothers, they would certainly be at the very top of my list of suspects. It's full of the kind of plot twists, character motivations and traits, and unfortunate misunderstandings that we've come to expect from their movies, particularly their black comedies - and Burn After Reading definitely falls within the 'black comedy' category.

The plot revolves around a CD containing the memoir-in-progress of Osbourne Cox, who has recently parted ways on somewhat acrimonious terms with the CIA. This CD somehow ends up in the hands of Linda Litzke and Chad Feldheimer, two colleagues at a local gym, who recognise the potential sensitivity of the content and decide that they might be able to profit from the situation. Chad's subsequent telephone call to Osbourne sets off a totally unnecessary chain of events that, of course, leads to much hilarity, tragedy, and hilarious tragedy. What could have been a fairly pleasant and amiable conversation leading to a swift resolution ends up, through a combination of Chad's bumbling incompetence and Osbourne's cantankerousness (as well as an interjection from Linda, who decides to play hardball) turning into a blazing row.

This is something of a recurring theme - simple (or not so simple) misunderstandings leading to violent (and sometimes fatal) conflict. Almost everything that happens is at least partly caused by misapprehension or confusion of one sort or another. This makes for a great deal of dramatic irony and a very compelling plot, which is rich and full of unexpected twists - without being at all hard-to-follow, even in script form.

The characterisation, as you might expect, is also very strong, and it was particularly entertaining to imagine some of the dialogue being delivered by the actors we so far know to be involved. Well, only John Malkovich has an officially confirmed specific role - that of Osbourne Cox. But Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Frances McDormand have all definitely been cast too. As has been mentioned before, Brad Pitt will certainly be playing the role of Chad - in fact, the part has obviously been written with him in mind. Chad isn't a moron, but he is pretty suggestible and comes across as a bit of a stoner, even though he doesn't take drugs at any point - he's more into smoothies. Here's a very short excerpt from the script for all you Brad-fans:

Chad Feldheimer is walking up towards the landing dressed in a black lycra bicycle unitard with lime green flames.

Clooney will undoubtedly be playing Harry Pfarrer - a very major character, despite the fact that this is the first time I've mentioned him. Harry is a charming philanderer, whose lust for the ladies sees him tightly embroiled in the unfolding events. For some reason, it seems to be common knowledge that Clooney's character is an assassin - but he isn't. He does carry a gun, but that's because he's a federal marshall for the Treasury Department. And, as he himself points out:

Harry: The gun is actually no big deal. Twenty years in the marshall's service and I've never discharged my weapon.

McDormand will probably play Katie Cox, Osbourne's unfaithful wife, who somewhat inadvertently sets off the whole chain of events in the first place.

There's also a part which seems tailor-made for William H. Macy; that of Ted Treffon, the soulful manager of the gym where Linda and Chad work. By the way, that's not me describing him as 'soulful' - for some reason he is referred to as such several times throughout the script. I guess he is a contemplative, conscientious character and he wants to do the right thing, but is unfortunately driven by unrequited love.

Overall, the script is a fantastic read and will no doubt result in a hugely enjoyable movie which should have wide appeal. I can see a lot of people describing Burn After Reading as 'a return to form' for the Coens - however unfair that may be.

That Danny's A Card

This is my favourite Ocean's 13 poster so far. What say you? Not sure? Get a better look by clicking.


And thanks to Mike Markus for the image.

Jack Kirby Production Designs For New George Clooney Movie?

The upcoming George Clooney film Escape from Tehran tells the story of how the CIA used the cover of a movie shoot to get Americans out of Iran. This is, as reported, based upon true events.

In reality, the film co-opted by the CIA was Lord of Light, adapted by a Roger Zelazny novel. It had been trapped in development for a while but had already been through a lot of pre-production work. Most incredibly, a lot of the design work had been carried out by comicbook legend Jack Kirby. I would post some examples below, but that'd lose me a limb or two - the copyright notices have been laid on pretty thick.

Will Clooney's film honour this history, and use Kirby designs? Maybe they will fictionalise matters to the extent that the film-within-the-film has nothing to do with Lord of Light, but even still, they could still tip their hat to Jack.

Gorgeous George's Sci-Fi CIA Inspiration

George Clooney has optioned a new article from Wired, telling how the CIA cooked up a fake science fiction film to rescue American hostages in Tehran. He's writing the screenplay adaptation with Grant Heslov - his cowriter on Good Night and Good Luck. The signs are good, wouldn't you say?

Check out the article for yourself. You'll likely be sold on this one in the blink of an eye.

Ocean's Top 6

If you ever wondered with six of Ocean's 13 were the real stars, and which seven could just be discarded, the poster below should answer your question.



As ever with these international posters and curious images, Mike Markus was the bloodhound. He's one heck of a detective. Click on George and Co. to enlarge.

The Coens: Out With The Old, In With The New?

No Country For Old Men is to premiere at Cannes; Burn Before Reading - and my best info maintains Before, not After - will start shooting in the late summer; A Serious Man is scheduled to start filming afterwards.

Both Serious and Burn are financed in the same two-picture deal between Focus and Working Title.

So what happened to Hail Caesar! and Suburbicon? Are they gone forever? And what about their untitled comedy about the Itallian catwalk model? It's reasonable to speculate that A Serious Man is, in fact, one of these previously touted projects under a new name. Both of the named projects were definitely about serious men. But then again... there's been such a long break since the last original Coen script that a few may have stockpiled in the meantime.

My best info suggests that George Clooney's role in Burn is as an asassin while Brad Pitt's role is as a personal trainer. I'm still digging for more...

Ocean's 2

Brad Pitt has signed on to Burn Before Reading, according to The Hollywood Reporter - who call it Burn After Reading. Hmmm.

George Clooney and Frances McDormand were already in the cast. The Coens have written, will direct and produce. Shooting starts in August. There was plenty about this film on film ick before - the search engine at the top of the page will help you, it is your friend, it takes you new places and it shows you new things.

Direct Download Links To New Ocean's 13 Trailer

You can watch the new Ocean's 13 trailer on Yahoo right now, or download it for future delectation.

Frankly, I loved it.

George Clooney's Million-Dollar Huckabees Leak Statement

Contrary to popular opinion, neither the sound man, Ed Tise, nor yours truly sent in the David O. Russell tape. I saw it when we were working on Ocean's 12, and there have been quite a few copies traveling around town for the last couple of years. Any rumor that either of us put it on the Internet is simply false.

And I'd offer a million bucks to anyone who would prove otherwise.

Your fan,
George Clooney

A Clooney Campaign Against David O Russell?

Radar are reporting that George Clooney is the prime suspect for circulating the infamous Lily Tomlin/David O Russell squabble clips.

Clooney also went toe to toe with Russell, during the filming of Three Kings, and it apparently came to blows on that occasion. Has he been harbouring a grudge all this while? And if so, why strike now? Is Edward Tise, Huckabees sound man, now working on Clooney's Leatherheads, the missing piece of the puzzle?

Russell's I Am the Morning DJ is now caught in a narrow circle of development hell, perhaps due to rumoured antagonism between Vince Vaughn and Russell. Indeed, it looks like Vaughn will no longer be appearing, and that alone may cost the film any hope it had of a greenlight. Personally, I want to see this one go into production soon. I might not endorse Russell's tantrums, but it can't be denied that he gets results.

Here's an excerpt from an old Playboy interview in which Clooney discusses his beef with Russell:

PLAYBOY: What made you want to do that movie?

CLOONEY: David Russell wrote as good a script as I've ever read. I fought to get it. He wanted a lot of other actors before me. They went to Mel and to Nic Cage. I wanted to work on this movie. David is in many ways a genius, though I learned that he's not a genius when it comes to people skills.

PLAYBOY: Did you learn about that the hard way?

CLOONEY: I did. He yelled and screamed at people all day, from day one.

PLAYBOY: Did he yell at you?

CLOONEY: At me often --- and at someone daily. He'd throw off his headset and scream, "Today the sound department flicked me!" For me, it came to a head a couple of times. Once, he went after a camera-car driver who I knew from high school. I had nothing to do with his getting his job, but David began yelling and screaming at him and embarrassing him in front of everybody. I told him, "You can yell and scream and even fire him, but what you can't do is humiliate him in front of people. Not on my set, if I have any say about it." Another time he screamed at the script supervisor and made her cry. I wrote him a letter and said, "Look, I don't know why you do this. You've written a brilliant script, and I think you're a good director. Let's not have a set like this. I don't like it and I don't work well like this." I'm not one of those actors who likes things in disarray. He read the letter and we started all over again. But later, we were three weeks behind schedule, which puts some pressure on you, and he was in a bad mood. These army kids, who were working as extras, were supposed to tackle us. There were three helicopters in the air and 300 extras on the set. It was a tense time, and a little dangerous, too. David wanted one of the extras to grab me and throw me down. This kid was a little nervous about it, and David walked up to him and grabbed him. He pushed him onto the ground. He kicked him and screamed, "Do you want to be in this *beep* movie? Then throw him to the *beep* ground!" The second assistant director came up and said, "You don't do that, David. You want them to do something, you tell me." David grabbed his walkie-talkie and threw it on the ground. He screamed, "Shut the *beep* up! *beep* you," and the AD goes, *beep* you! I quit." He walked off.

It was a dangerous time. I'd sent him this letter. I was trying to make things work, so I went over and put my arm around him. I said, "David, it's a big day. But you can't shove, push or humiliate people who aren't allowed to defend themselves." He turned on me and said, "Why don't you just worry about your *beep* act? You're being a dick. You want to hit me? You want to hit me? Come on, pussy, hit me." I'm looking at him like he's out of his mind. Then he started banging me on the head with his head. He goes, "Hit me, you pussy. Hit me." Then he got me by the throat and I went nuts. Waldo, my buddy, one of the boys, grabbed me by the waist to get me to let go of him. I had him by the throat. I was going to kill him. Kill him. Finally, he apologized, but I walked away. By then the Warner Bros. guys were freaking out. David sort of pouted through the rest of the shoot and we finished the movie, but it was truly, without exception, the worst experience of my life.

PLAYBOY: Did you resolve things? Would you ever work with him again?

CLOONEY: Life's too short.

Whatever Happened To Victor Buono?

Latino Review are reporting that Clooney and Soderbergh now the proud producer-parents of a script called Whatever Happened to Victor Buono? Buono, if you didn't know, appeared in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? and this film doesn't sound like a biopic, more of a Kauffman inspired redux of the Davis/Crawford campfest.

Sounds a bit dodgy to me - the scooper talks about Section 8 as though they're fully operational, but I could swear they'd already closed their doors - but it would take a very strange mind to cook up a story like this just to engineer a false scoop.

Does anybody out there have the script?

Ocean's 13 And The High End Call Girls

Stephen Soderbergh is, as ever, very busy.

Right now, he's in post on Ocean's 13, ahead of it's Cannes premiere (keep reading for some exciting stuff about that one in a few paragraphs) and he's already started shooting one of his two Che Guevera films - and now he's announced another project. This one is about 'high-end call girls' and is going to star non-actors who, very possibly, will be real 'high-end call girls'.

In an interview with the Sydney Morning Herald, Soderbergh admitted that Bubble only just recouped it's costs. Many have blamed it's daring day-and-date release scheme - in cinemas, on DVD, on cable TV all within a four day period. Only the Landmark chain of cinemas dare show it, so really, the blame lies with the other cinema chains, but they're not the most humble of corporations. There's no way to get them to admit Bubble was a better choice than a fourth week of Munich or Grandma's Boy. The hooker film is going to follow the same release pattern, and I imagine that the cinema chains will wuss out just like before.

Okay - about Ocean's 13. Don Cheadle has mentioned in recent interviews that this threequel will be the end of the line for his character, Basher. If that's true, there's no indication in the script. In fact - spoiler alert! - the entire gang walk away intact, with nothing to suggest they won't be coming back. There's no hook for a sequel, and the last shot does feel like a fitting conclusion (though it doesn't feature any of Danny's gang at all) but the door is certainly still open.

I've read two scripts for Ocean's 13 now, and they were very, very similar. If you ask me, they were also very, very charming. The whole thing has a kind of swining, zippy tone and there's character dripping off of every page.

Of course it's all quite silly and frothy too, but that didn't harm Eleven or Twelve, did it?

We'll be getting up close and personal with the Ocean's 13 script soon, giving you a good look at the set-up, some of the dialogue and my favourite character moments - including why a new character known only as The VUP - as opposed to VIP - is going to steal the show.

Subscribe using your RSS reader or the box at the bottom of the page, to get that update automatically.

Clooney Offered Liberace

According to the World Entertainment News Network, George Clooney has been offered the lead role in the infamous, in-development Librace biopic - and it seems like he's going to take the part, if he can, despite misgivings.

"I like the idea but I think the role would be more suited to the likes of a comedian like Robin Williams. If it works out, fine, but am I really camp enough?"

I'm backing Nicolas Cage for the role. That would be perfect casting - even better if Amy Winehouse makes a cameo as Connie Francis and Bruno Ganz plays George.